WORDING THE
FORMAL WEDDING INVITATION
You’re getting married—and it’s going to be a scene! Congratulations and best wishes—even those two well-meaning phrases are loaded with etiquette conundrums. Did you know? If you don’t, relax; there are only two things you need to do when planning your formal wedding. First, commit to have fun. Enjoy the process. Relish the choices, the moments, the attention, and all the genuine excitement from your loved ones. Second, and this is important—hire experienced, reputable help. When you step into the world of formalities, you need someone who knows event management, large or small, and someone who knows etiquette. These are rarely the same person. In the days of online searches, it is easy to become lost down a confusing path. Truly, etiquette is not a one-size-fits-all wording solution to your complicated party problems. My biggest pro tip before we start is (lovingly) this: most designers are not etiquette experts. The talent for beautiful design skills does not mean an education in grammar and wording. Truth be told, most of us who worked in design were and still are paired with savvy, well-educated copywriters. There is a very good reason for this. Do not rely solely on your designer for correct wording, and certainly not for final proofing of your beautifully printed representations of you and your taste.
For the etiquette of formal invitation wording, this is what you and your designer need. Designers, bookmark it. I even use this often!
First, determine if your wedding is casual, informal (or semi-formal), or formal. If your wedding is after 6 pm, formal attire is appropriate.
Second, determine who is hosting your wedding. The way the first few lines read tells guests who is hosting and who the guests of honor are.
Last, is your wedding in a place of worship or sanctuary? This also determines the details of the wording.
Let’s jump into some wording scenarios. My hope is that by teaching you the rules and framework, you can decide what’s right for your situation. Need help? Ask. We’ll answer and get you off on the right foot.
The Evening Wedding
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Henry Williamson
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Emily Rose
to
Mr. Michael John Lockhart
Saturday, the sixth of March
Two thousand twenty-seven
at half-after six o’clock
First Presbyterian Church
One West Putnam Avenue
Greenwich, Connecticut
Notes for the etiquette savvy:
Parents are hosting together and are married.
Alternative situation examples are below.Because it is formal, they used their social titles.
Formal invitations are always issued in the 3rd person.
The British spelling of “honour” is used only because this is a religious ceremony held in a sanctuary.
Because Emily is their daughter, she does not have a title (this has nothing to do with gender roles, which is a common misperception).
In the case of Jewish weddings, “and” is often used instead of “to.”
Because Michael is not their child, they have given him the same title they gave themselves to show him respect and treat him as an equal, which is proper when formally introducing an adult.
Notice that “on” is not used before Saturday.
In formal language, half-after is correct. Half-past is informal or casual.
The location maintains the street address if it is not a major landmark.
If the address has a short, simple street number, it is spelled out
The city and state, or for large cities, only the city is named.
Zip codes are never used.
Mind what is upper and lower case.
Finally, the invitation reads as one grammatically correct sentence (without punctuation). As you add or remove content for your situation, keep this in mind.
More common family scenarios
The parents are not married, but both host together.
The wedding is formal, but not held in a church.
Ms. Catherine Landry Phillips
Mr. Thomas Henry Williamson
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Emily Rose
to
Mr. Michael John Lockhart
Mother is widowed and remarried, and both are hosting
The daughter kept her father’s surname.
The wedding is ultra-formal, but not held in a church.
(The engraved invitations are individually penned
with each guest’s name by a calligrapher.)
Mr. and Mrs. Kenneth Barnet Phillips
request the pleasure of the company of
(guest name written here)
at the marriage of her daughter
Emily Rose Williiamson
to
Mr. Michael John Lockhart
Happy planning!
xx,
Heather Wiese
